From the time i was little, i was taken to church and my foundation in god was built and solidified.  My Grandmother who lived with us and was the bread winner,  assisted my alcoholic mother in raising me and she truly kept me from being in foster care.  My mother, broken hearted from losing a son and already an alcoholic, spiraled into a bottle of beer never to resurface sober for longer than a few hours each morning. By the time i was 14, my grandmothers health declined and she had to go and live with my uncle to be taken care of herself which left me with my mother.  I met a boy older than me and moved in with him at age 15, my security was gone at home and all I did was watch my mother drink.  Fast forward, I met another boy at the age of 17, married him at 18 and had a baby nine months later and was divorced by the time my daughter was almost 4. I'm now remarried, and for the past 16 years, my current husband is the only Dad my daughter has had in her life.  My husband and I both believe in God but had bad experiences with churches so we never belonged to a congregation but the word of God was spoken in our house.  We taught our daughter about God's love, how to pray, read childrens bibles with her and felt we had done enough to give her a foundation that was solid.

At age 14, our daughter came to us and declared she did not believe, or didn't know if God was real. We became very upset, visibly so, and from that day until now, shes 19, she still claims nillism and just doesn't feel there is enough proof that God exists.  She argues that if God is such a big awesome God, why were her prayers as a child not answered, how could God allow so much evil if he is so almighty.  I tried to answer her and explain that this earth is stained with mankind and there is a constant battle of good and evil here.  As a mother, I feel like the ultimate failure.  No matter how much I try to explain to her she still is a non-believer.  I have had alot of people tell me its a phase she is going through because of her age.  I still question things like, what would happen to her if she died today.  Would God forgive her or say, part from me for I know you not?  I've been sending her lyrics to christian songs as many of them are based on finding god when you are struggling, and yes she is truly struggling right now in college in another state.  Struggling with her boyfriend, unable/unwilling/perhaps not trying hard enough to find a job and being a very rebellious and selfish 19 yr old.  I beg God to reveal himself to her and to give me the words to show her whats real but sometime, many times  I'm at a loss. 

Any suggestions?