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What do others do?
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Permalink Reply by Tom Baggett on
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Myself, divorced a year ago, apart for 2 years now. Left me with all debt and responsibilities. Was a real rough time for me. That is when I actually went back to church. Through a lot of prayer, long conversations with our Pastor things starting going back to normal. What I did was basically give all my troubles to God, sit back and just let him lead the way. Complete surrender and total faith in God
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Permalink Reply by Jennifer "Ginger" Santulli on -
Thank you very much, Tom. Yes, total surrender. I try... I will do that... And live day by day... But I struggle with how long it has been (8 years!!!) since my divorce... And I am still struggling!
I struggle with consistently looking up, staying positive, and hopeful when nothing seems to change. He had moved on and is even soon to be married! I did the right and Chrisyian thing and have been kind to the new woman... As she is now part of my kids lives occasionally and she seems nice enough. That was the hardest thing I ever did.... Giving her a welcoming hug in my driveway... But I wanted to be a good example to my girls. I just am so stuck and find myself on the weekends staying home... Not accomplishinguch... Sometimes I curl up in a ball and cry... Others I rise up... And do something positive for myself. It continues to be the challenge of my life... Beating this depression and anxiety. This has thrown me for a loop because I am normally a very people and "upbeat" personality! But... As I just never wanted this for myself... I just cannot seem to break out of the shock of my new reality. I pray that one day I will be able to....
Tom Baggett said:Myself, divorced a year ago, apart for 2 years now. Left me with all debt and responsibilities. Was a real rough time for me. That is when I actually went back to church. Through a lot of prayer, long conversations with our Pastor things starting going back to normal. What I did was basically give all my troubles to God, sit back and just let him lead the way. Complete surrender and total faith in God
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8 yrears is a long time in our minds. However, God does not know time. I had become very depressed and some anxiety at times. I had read a book by Pastor David Jerimiah called slaying the giants in my life. Basically, I had not been brought up in a Christian home. I had done some very bad things in my past that I'm very ashamed of. After my wife had left me, all the problems had arose including the guilt of my past. Trust me, I carried a very heavy burden. The book from Mr. Jerimiah explains scripture from the Bible on how all the shame, guilt, pride and all the bad stuff in life is gone once you surrender yourself to God and Repent daily of all your sins. I am a fairly new Christian, learning quite a bit each day. One thing I got out of the book was to completely deny myself for Christ. To me, that means no sin ! I am completely changing my life around, looking to the word instead of the world for answers. Life is tough, through Christ all things are possible. I read in your message you say you are stuck and stay home on weekends. I think that might be troublesome, gives you time to think about the negatives instead of the possitives. I too stay at home at times, no money to do anything ya know. I go to my neighbors house and help them with the harder chores around there house, they are in there 70's so I try to help when I can. Gives me a possitive feeling and takes out the negatives. I hope this is helping you
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Permalink Reply by Stephanie Klein on -
A friend of mine gave me a devotional called Jesus Calling that has helped me stay focused on God and what He calls all of us as believers to do when the storms of life seem insurmountable. It has helped me remember to keep my eyes on Jesus, to let go of the reins of my life and trust Him to take care of me. I also pray regularly. When I am experiencing anxiety, fear, doubt, or unbelief, I tell God, ask Him to forgive me (especially my unbelief), and to comfort me. I don't leave the prayer until I have the peace I know can be found in God's loving embrace. One other thing I do, and I learned this from Jesus Calling, is to thank God in prayer for how He is answering my prayers, even when I cannot discern the results of His work. It has truly helped me maintain a more positive and trusting attitude toward my current circumstances.
Remember Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have you,' declares the Lord,'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' I almost have this verse memorized because it has been a great comfort during my trials of late. I hope it will speak to you as well.
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Permalink Reply by Jacques Ladouceur on
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Hello Ginger,
I wanted to make a few suggestions that might be helpful to you.
1. Write down the five most important things in your life. # them 1-5
A.. Start working on these things in the order of priority. for example: If God is first in your life he should get your attention first when you wake up.
2. Work on been the person God created you to be. In most cases that's how you attract the right spouse.
3. I would set some goals in each one of these areas.
A. Spiritual [ could be memorizing Bible verses]
B. Family [ set aside some time spend with children weekly]
c. Personal [ Taking good care of yourself. eating right, staying physically fit or Learning something new]
D. Business or profession [ Developing a new way to teach children, getting a promotion or stating your own school]
E. Financial [ increase of income, managing money better, saving a certain amount every week, month or year.
Focusing on goals is one way to remove daily anxieties.
Hope that helps.
God Bless
Jacques
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Permalink Reply by Jennifer "Ginger" Santulli on
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Jacques, thank you do much... How kind of you to take the time to give me these goal setting ideas! I really appreciate your help. Thank you and God Bless you! ~Ginger
Jacques Ladouceur said:Hello Ginger,
I wanted to make a few suggestions that might be helpful to you.
1. Write down the five most important things in your life. # them 1-5
A.. Start working on these things in the order of priority. for example: If God is first in your life he should get your attention first when you wake up.
2. Work on been the person God created you to be. In most cases that's how you attract the right spouse.
3. I would set some goals in each one of these areas.
A. Spiritual [ could be memorizing Bible verses]
B. Family [ set aside some time spend with children weekly]
c. Personal [ Taking good care of yourself. eating right, staying physically fit or Learning something new]
D. Business or profession [ Developing a new way to teach children, getting a promotion or stating your own school]
E. Financial [ increase of income, managing money better, saving a certain amount every week, month or year.
Focusing on goals is one way to remove daily anxieties.
Hope that helps.
God Bless
Jacques
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How you doing Jennifer ?
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Permalink Reply by Linda M. Johnson on -
Hello Jennifer ,
Your story touched my heart. I too struggle with life's challenges and this world can sure beat you up! I tend to withdraw from people when I am feeling discouraged. I know I should do the opposite- but that doesn't mean I do it!! Haha. I have been divorced for almost 9 years and am still single also. I never thought this would be the life I would be living.
I always wanted children, but my ex husband did not. So I never had any. It can be lonely without anyone else in the house with you- believe me!
You are lucky to have your children in your life. I understand the difficulties it brings with your ex husband - but try to look at the positives.
I am too old now to think of ever having children. I am ok with that- but often I wonder what it would
Have been like. Just know that you are not alone in your struggles and hang in there. I think this website will help. It is nice to hear encouraging words. Take care & I hope to hear more from you on the web.
Linda
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Permalink Reply by Holly Graffius on
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Hi Jennifer... I as a single mother struggle with many of the same issues as you. I am a certified teacher but unlike you can't find a teaching job in my skill area so I work as a daycare teacher and don't even make enough to pay all my bills or sometimes even to survive. The pressures of raising 3 children on your own is difficult and again I can relate because I am a single mom of 3 also. What keeps me going even on days when I feel like giving up is knowing that one day the Lord will bring me home and I will never hurt or worry again. I strive to be an example for my children and sometimes feel like I fail miserably at that as well... but as someone told me today at the church near my moms and whom I haven't seen in over a year.. "You are shining with the light of God's glory and I can see He is working and healing you".. what a great moment in my life to realize that others can see that God is working in me and that is using me as a vessel for His voice here on earth.
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Permalink Reply by carolp on
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I don't know if my advice is helpful or not, but I love to cook, and maybe you could bake cookies, frost cupcakes, or any other fun treats. Doing so may give you a sense of accomplishment--and include your kids to help decorate the baked items. Hope this helps--if you need any words of encouragement, just let me know.
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