I'm Brad your brother in Christ.
And I've been struggling for the pass 3 years. It all began in 2011. I was a christian at the time but i wasn't as strong. In august of 2011 i lost my mama to cancer, i was only 16, i soon became atheist or azsonic. I stopped going to church, i stopped praying, i almost turned to alcohol, i was addicted to sleeping pills, i blamed god for everything. I almost overdosed myself on the sleeping pills. But i heard my mamas voice stop me from killing myself. That night i dreamed i was in a solid white place, i didn't know what it was, but i saw mama, my deceased granddad, and a third figure. all three told me to turn back to the lord. It took me bout 6 months to do that, but i heard Dr David Jeremiah speak live and changed my life. I became a born again christian back in Oct, and things r looking up for me. But my aunt is another story. My dad got remarried in 2013 at the end of may, i'm glad he did he doesn't need to be left alone, but my aunt Kathy, my deceased mothers sister, wont except it. She thinks my dads cheating on my mama, and she tries to make us rember her all the time, and my nana and papa Harris, my mamas parents r not doing well. Nana Harris as Alzheimer's disease and she asks same questions over and over, Papa Harris is stressed out, and puts stress on me.
I've spent several nights crying myself to sleep. And i'm not sure if i can handle much more. I need help. God bless u
Brad, we have the mind of Christ. I pray His Good Spirit will lead and keep you. I have found some help in reading psalm 143 these past weeks. God has good things in store for you, He goes before us and He follows after us. He works all things together for those that love Him. And He loves us first and best. We love because we are loved.
You have come through a very hard time and it is not over for you and will always be part of your life experience. God made us each wonderful and good and perfect, and the only thing that comes against that is sin. I pray you do not believe the lie or be left in the grip of it. We have One Weapon against sin, and that is Christ, our Lord.
talking to myself here as well, I have had a tougher week than most battle deep depression and walking it through. the best thing I heard on Keep the Faith this week was this:
courage is not the absence of fear, it is the conquering of it. when we are faced with it, it allows us to do what we need to do.
He is the Author and Perfecter of our Faith. I have been praying that He gets to really know me, and me more of Him. Thank you for sharing your story. Let Him in and the changes do begin. We cannot give what we do not have. until we are healed, we are hurting, and that process of tempering takes time in. the bible says to test Him in giving and see the windows of heaven pour out blessings. I love that picture cause it is so God. We people open our windows to air our houses out or to let the sunshine in, but God opens His and the blessings just shine and pour out over us. May your self, your life be like this...so full and fed by Him that it overflows out.. that you have and are able to give, not from your poverty, but from the riches He has bestowed upon you in His Grace. Grace is perfection-and that is where He Holds us throughout eternity.
Be well my friend, my brother in Christ, and do not give up the fight. it is worth every step, tear, triumph and set back. You are on an incredible journey, and you choose very well. We have one Master, one Teacher, one Lord, one Father. and He is Calling us here, for this is Today.