Don't doubt yourself. Temptations are all around us. Obviously you are amazing at what you are doing because it sounds like the devil is really trying to get to you. Don't let him win. Pray for God to take hold of you. Tell Satan to "get behind you"!!
I think being a part of leadership is a lonely job. My boyfriend is our music/worship leader and I know the pressures he feels. I'm sure he feels very lonely at times. Do you have anyone that you can talk to at all about this?
I'm sorry about your brother. I understand the drinking/depression cycle. I survived it. It's such a difficult thing to be in, and so many people don't understand. I pray that he gets help. I will also pray that your siblings can find Christ!
Danielle, you are in my thoughts and prayers! Stay strong!!
In His Grace,