I just wanted to share with the group that indeed God does listen to all of our joys, desires, pains and struggles even when we think God is silent. I have been struggling for the past six months with having fallen in love with a very wonderful man who absolutely turned my heart upside down and inside out. I was so very happy. However, I learned that he was already involved in a relationship. I was devastated and heart broken, I thought how could this be. But what I didn't know was that God was indeed listening to my heart's voice--my heart was longing and searching for someone who could love me and who I could indeed love as well. But because of the horrible after effects of having been sexually abused as a teenager, I could not, would not and did not allow any man to even get close to me. I could not trust any man and feared the same could happen again. GOD KNEW what would allow me to be open again to the possibilities of being in a relationship. Not only does this man love the same things that I do---animals, music/the arts, he also is very playful and loves children. That was why I was so strongly attracted to him. But God said he is not the one for me and I am and have tried to listen to God. What amazes me is that God through this beautiful, loving, passionate and compassionate man has begun to help me discover my heart's voice--what I really want out of life, what I really need and who I really am. GOD IS MY HEART'S VOICE AND IS LEADING ME TO WHERE HE WILL SHOW ME WHAT HE HAS IN STORE FOR ME.

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Jane i think this was the most beautiful thing i have read on this website thus fare. i'm new to this site and just made my profile today. I'm in the same situation and some help would be very much appreciated i connected so much to this message i hope we can have a chat 

                                                                     God bless you and your beautiful heart <3



Lucy Santiago said:

Jane i think this was the most beautiful thing i have read on this website thus fare. i'm new to this site and just made my profile today. I'm in the same situation and some help would be very much appreciated i connected so much to this message i hope we can have a chat 

                                                                     God bless you and your beautiful heart <3



Doug Den said:

Looking for a positive radio host for whenmagazineradio at whenmagazine.com  Blessings



Lucy Santiago said:

Jane i think this was the most beautiful thing i have read on this website thus fare. i'm new to this site and just made my profile today. I'm in the same situation and some help would be very much appreciated i connected so much to this message i hope we can have a chat 

                                                                     God bless you and your beautiful heart <3



Doug Den said:



Doug Den said:

Looking for a positive radio host for whenmagazineradio at whenmagazine.com  Blessings



Lucy Santiago said:

Jane i think this was the most beautiful thing i have read on this website thus fare. i'm new to this site and just made my profile today. I'm in the same situation and some help would be very much appreciated i connected so much to this message i hope we can have a chat 

                                                                     God bless you and your beautiful heart <3


Thank you Doug and Lucy! As difficult as it has been, I have always wanted to help someone else who has been through the same thing. God has always given me people for me to lean on and to help me through and I knew that I had to do the same. So sharing what I did, I only hoped that it would help someone else. Thank you for your words of support and encouragement. I have struggled with this for a long time and still do but every step of the way God is with me. Lucy, feel free to contact me if you wish! I would be more than willing to chat!

I agree, and I think that God gently encourages us, over time to believe that he is listening and right there with us, no matter our circumstances. Here is an excerpt from my upcoming collection of devotional essays that echoes this message.

God Loves You

 

Psalm 23:2 “He lets me rest in green pastures.  He leads me to calm water.”

 

I would like to share an example of God loving me and, ultimately, leading me to rest and calm.

 

A few years ago I was preparing to take Billy to middle school ministry at church. It was Prayer Night, and I was going to be leading a group of boys all over the church to different prayer stations. Billy and I were ready to go. All I needed to do was say goodbye to the other kids.  “O.k. guys, the babysitter should be here in just a few minutes. Billy and I should be back in a couple of hours, and then we will get ready for bed. While I am gone, please make your lunches and take a shower, and when I get back, please be wearing your pajamas. If all of these things can get done, I will be soooo happy!  It would be a great start to getting to bed on time. “

Rrrrrriiinnggg. I wonder who that could be…

“Hello? Oh, no, really? So you can’t make it? Ok, I will have to … figure out something else. Bye.”

Figure out something else? In 5 minutes? It looks like my kindergartner, 2nd grader and 4th grader are all coming to Middle School Ministry tonight…

“Ok, guys, change of plans. The babysitter can’t make it.  Everyone is coming to class tonight.” And, everything that would have gotten done while I was gone will now need to be done later tonight, pushing bedtime beyond reach… and how am I going to manage all those middle school boys and my 3 extra kids at quiet prayer stations …?   

 

Well, like symptoms of a virus my doubts over a peaceful, organized night hung over my head as we piled in the van.  I explained to the kids the need to be quiet and respectful the entire time, as we were going to be praying and learning about different ways to pray. Fortunately, much to my delight, that part of the night went well, all of my kids learned something about prayer, and all were well behaved. Getting home and facing all of the work that should have been done earlier is when I felt the brunt of our change in plans.

 

Bedtime routines needed to be carried out, including lunch prep and outfits for the next day, teeth brushing, and bedtime prayers and reading. Finally, at 10:30, kids finally tucked in, I faced the mountain of laundry.  It was then, after the evening had unfolded, that I felt most overwhelmed.  When I think about that, it doesn’t make sense. Wouldn’t I be overwhelmed during all of the unplanned activity?

 

 I stood on the cold cement floor in the silent laundry room, between a shoulder- high pile of laundry and a waiting washing machine. Eyes closed and sighing hopelessly, I felt a second wave of frustration.  It was then, however, that I realized just how little everything else matters when compared to how much I love my kids. That was it. All of a sudden, dreadful circumstances were deflated and God’s gentle whisper was loud and clear: “You don’t need to feel so stressed. Who are you trying to impress?  Yes, you had a lot piled on tonight, and there will surely be more to come.  In this quiet, let Me remind you that you do not have to be perfect for Me to notice you, and neither cold cement nor grass stained jeans are going to keep me from your side. You are, and will continue to be, a successful dad. Chin up, now. I love you. Go love your kids.  After that, I remember telling my kids that I love them, that they are more important to me than anything else, and that I wouldn’t change a thing about our life. 

 

Psalm 23:4 “Even if I walk through a very dark valley, I will not be afraid, because you are with me. Your rod and your walking stick comfort me.” 

 

It has been several years now since that night. I think back on it often and use it as a reminder of just how closely God is with me, even if I am feeling stressed and hopeless.  However, I sometimes wonder, why must we go through “dark valleys” in our lives at all? If God loves us so much, why do we have such hardship, far worse than my memorable night?  My divorce is one of those hardships, but I still see  God loving me right through it. This took some time and prayer to figure out.  The more I have thought about it, I really believe that God does not aim calamities or frustration in our direction, but they come, because the world is so imperfect. We are not made to handle everything that comes our way and have it turn out like we want it to. When it doesn’t, we are left with pieces, questions, and struggles.  He does not always provide direct answers when we wonder why we struggle.  I do think, though, that when we struggle, God does not expect us to figure out why.  God wants to be right there with us, knowing and feeling our pain, and picking up the pieces to reorganize our lives together.

Scott,
I really enjoyed your reply to Jane. God is always with us. Sometimes I tend to forget that - but it is so true & He only wants the best for us. During some of our most intense turmoils we learn just how much He does love us!

Linda Johnson

I'm glad you enjoyed it Linda, and yes, rough times can certainly purify our faith! God bless ...
 
Linda M. Johnson said:

Scott,
I really enjoyed your reply to Jane. God is always with us. Sometimes I tend to forget that - but it is so true & He only wants the best for us. During some of our most intense turmoils we learn just how much He does love us!

Linda Johnson

Thank you Scott for your comments, they are most heart felt and appreciated. God knows what we need and when we need it. And now was a great time for reading your comments. Also thank you to Linda and Lucy and others who have commented in the past. It helps to know that there are others out there praying for you and I am praying for you as well! God bless everyone!

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