My husband and I were only married for three years. FIve months before our wedding anniversary, he told me that he no longer wanted to be married to me. He moved back home with his parents, stopped paying his bills, left me with a new house mortgage, a new car payment, and over $3,000 total in monthly bills. I finally broke down and called him, because in my mind I thought maybe he was hurting and needs me to reach out to him. Instead I was told that he never loved me, I forced him to marry him, that he wasn't ready for marriage because he didn't know what it was all about. That he was ready to move on and I should as well.

 

I can't begin to explain my hurt, confusion, embarrassment, shame, anger, and bitterness towards this man. One side of me prays that he will see the error of his ways, the other side wants him to get hit by a bus. At least I know the truth, right? So many people have said this is God's way of getting me out of a bad situation. But, the word says that God hates divorce. Would He use something he hates to get me out of a bad situation? Maybe, I don't know. I just feel like I have been living an absolute lie. Every time my soon-to-be ex-husband said "He loved me" or that he felt closer to me since we got married or that he understood what real love was now that he was with me...IT WAS ALL A LIE! A Dang-on good lie because I believed him. Everything I did, I did with him on my mind. I couldn't even go shopping for myself without thinking about what he would like.

 

I won't lie and say I was the perfect wife. I wasn't. I did plenty of things I had no cause, but I was trying to find my way. Sometimes, I think it was my fault. Like I am a failure. But, as many folks have told me, it takes two to fight. You can't win if you're in the ring alone. So what now? It's been two months and I still feel the pain as if it was yesterday that he left. I keep asking God to remove it and He hasn't. I've prayed, I've screamed, I've cursed, I've hated....and now I just want peace. How do I get that?

 

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Replies to This Discussion

Hello Heather, it will take time but eventually things will get better. I was married off and on for 30 years. She was my first love. When she divorced me in 2005 my heart was broken, i knew we had problems but i thought we would work them out, and stay together the rest of are lifes. She has remarried, i never thought i would be able to say that i am happy for her, but that was all i ever really wanted when we were married is to make her happy. My ex was having a affair toward the in of are marriage. I have already prayed and asked God to send me my soulmate. I never thought i would ever want to be married again, but i do. I dont want to spend the rest of my life by myself. Being alone after spending most of my life with my ex, has really been lonely. But i'm learning to deal with it. I believe when i'm ready God will shoe me who my wife is. I hope something i shared with you helps. I have a lot of compassion for people that are having marriage problems, or that have went through what we have went through. I will be keeping you in my prayer's that God will help you to get through what you are going through. Your friend and brother in Christ Ralph.
Hey Ralph. Thanks for the prayer and the encouragement. I know the pain and lonliness of not being with the man I love, But, he says that he is happy, and like you, that's all I ever wanted for him. I am praying as well for my soulmate, and while the time passes I am taking the opportunity to deal with the issues I have personally and the ones I developed while in my marriage. I believe that God answers prayers and I know that He will do what is best for us. Your friend and sister, Heather.

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