I've been a single mom for 13 years and now my child is grown and planning on getting married next fall. I'm having trouble with this stage of life. What happens now? I've poured my entire life into her and now I feel like my purpose is over. I know it's not really, but it just feels scary to change who I've been all these years. It's been her and me all this time and now it is going to be me. People tell me to find some new people to hang out with and find a hobby. I want her to grow up and have a happy life with her great guy, but I also don't want this part of my life to be over...being needed. She tells me that I will always be needed, but I know my role is changing. God will help me through this I know, but it is still hard for me to deal with. Any words of peace or wisdom out there?
My youngest is 19, my older two have moved out. In the past few years I could see what was coming and kind of wondering the same thing. What is my life going to look like? What am I all about? and the big question, what do I want?! I've been on my own raising kids for 11 years. Gotten used to doing life like that but now it's just me and the cats.
What helped me to initially get a grip was throwing off any external paradigm about "what a woman my age should be doing, thinking or saying". The world has SO many expectations through each stage of life that it's like a cage. I decided to ask, "what does God want a woman my age (and stage) to be thinking, doing or saying?" So somewhere I read about rekindling romance with God and I sought that out with Him.
I wanted to know who I was to Him, I wanted to hear from him about how He designed me and what he has for me apart from being Mom. I wanted to have God fan the flames of my gifts and talents and guide me so that my steps would be purposeful and fulfilling for both God AND me. It really does pitch that empty nest theory out the window! The nest isn't empty, now it's filled with me and God.
I think it's time to dust off some dreams and put them before God and ask His opinion. Fix a cup of coffee and literally sit at the kitchen table and have a big fat chat with God. Ask Him to romance you, reveal His will for you, and clarify how He designed you and His plans for you.
See where that takes you. I decided to go back to college. I applied to a highly competitive program and asked God to pave the way. There were 500 applicants for my program and they only accept 30 students. I was one of them. PTL! I am the oldest in my class and yet I've never felt so young! What's even better than that is that I am right where God wants me to be, and NOTHING can beat that kind of peace!
Please keep me updated! Gotta go study for midterms :D
I totally agree with what Ronalda said. Also, there are always people out there who need someone. Volunteer at a school, library, nursing home, hospital, etc. Find what your passion is and go for that!