I have been single many years since my divorce. Some of my friends and family would say far too long. I can never really pin point my problem other then it is perhaps, me. As much as I hate to admit it, I am all thumbs when it comes to relationships, and some how can never keep a handle on things. My biggest fault is that I want a relationship so bad, what with being in my mid thirties, that I am almost having a fear of being alone the rest of my life. But again my biggest flaw is and was I expect things to be perfect. There I said it. It took a lot of praying and soul searching to really understand what a quote, perfect relationship is.  I thought it was good times together, enjoying each others company. No fighting, just compromise and being calm about things. Oh my goodness how wrong I was. Here is my example. My best friend of 20 years has been married to a lovely women for 10 years now going on 11, and they just had their first born daughter. My thing was over the many years they were married, there were fights. Oh my gosh where there ever arguments or what have you. And all I could do as being the third party in the room was to just sit there and think to myself. You know this could be solved so easily if they just did this and that. Now was I right in thinking this??? I mean where the heck did I all of a sudden become an expert on married life/and relationships??? My marrage was a total train wreck. I never argued, or complained, or even put up much of a fight. It was not that I wanted to its just I didn't like to argue, I came from an abusive family and all my mom and step dad ever did was argue all the time. If I wasn't getting it from my step dad , then I was always nervous to do anything to antagonize him. From there I made a promise to myself and God that I would never be like that. I hate to argue, I dislike butting heads. But you know something. that is a fact of life. You can't honestly believe that you are getting into a serious relationship and go " Oh we never argue". From my own observation couples do disagree. Couples don't always see eye to eye. So I prayed to God. I asked God what should I do. Now I didn't ask God to just poof up a soul mate for me. But what God did was show me the real world. Just because people have an argument doesn't mean that, opps we disagreed guess we should break up. No, we are human beings with emotions, with thoughts, with opinions. That is one thing that keeps people together. Now I am not going on record to say that if you fight all the time in a relationship then its okay. There is a balance.  You should be able to trust in your partner/spouse , and to God that things will work out. So right now as I feel like I am taking a few steps forward into what I call reality, lol. And trust in God and myself that one day I will have someone to spend the rest of my days with. And take all the love and bumps that come along. Thank you for letting me get this out. Good bye and God bless 

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I also have come from mental abuse in the home my farther an alcoholic and my mother an enabler. I have been divorced my parents making me homeless and taking the best thing God has given me. I also know that my son had Jesus in his heart. I know and believe God will bring my son back to me. In the Name Of Jesus. I have failed relationships since they are not in God will for my life. I have never a steady job beacuse God has big God dream for me. I am complete in Jesus. I believe God has someone created just for me. He will be evenly yoked exactly where I am at. I am being called to texas. Stepping out in Faith and believing God has a job for me in minstry. Glorifying God and praying and ministring to people. I am need for miracle job because I am short in my account and I know and believe God fill my account because God can do the impossible unthinkable miracles at any second. In Jesus Name


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