In a world where Looks money and Material things are all that people look at my question is What should a Christian relationship look like because me being saved now means my morals have changed but with the way the world is what should I look for and what should I avoid"

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First, you should look for a person who shares your beliefs about God and has a genuine personal relationship with Jesus. They must be a Christian or you will just have problems in the future (trust me). If a person does not have this, move on...avoid at all cost...they are not for you. After that, you have to look for signs of good moral character and shared values/goals. Hopefully if they are a Christian, they will have good moral character. You will hopefully be attracted to each other so that will take care of the looks thing, but don't discard someone who God is pointing you towards because they don't look like they just got off the runway. Sometimes nice things come in different sized packages. Money and material things are necessary, but at the bottom of the list. You need money to live and material things (clothing, cars, etc.) are things in our lives, but they should not be the basis or focus when choosing a person in a relationship. Above all, if you are following the will of God for your life, then He will point you to the person you need to be with. If you are going towards someone who reminds you or tempts you for your old life, then that obviously is not the person for you. I have always told my daughter, "Run with Jesus, and one day you'll look over and see the guy your supposed to be with running on the other side of Him." That may sound dumb, but it has always been a good visual for her to keep her eyes on Jesus and not go running after relationships that God may not want her in. I hope this has helped. Trust in God and He will guide you. :)

The New Rules for Love, Sex & Dating

 

A friend of mine recommended I watch this 4-part series aimed at singles of all ages.  I have to say it had a profound effect on me.  The minister addresses what God meant for relationships & marriage - as opposed to what the world teaches.  

Now that your a christian, just make sure that they are on the level with you, same believes. It will make the relationship  so much better.
Thanks Heather for the link! I just watched the first part, heard a very similiar teaching at a local church in my area,as a matter of fact, It is identical, I had to share it on my facebook page as well,very profound and helpful teaching;)

Hi Randell:

Well, first off, please allow me to explain that it is not often the AMOUNT of money one has, rather HOW IT IS MANAGED.  Lets face the thruth on this one:  If one cannot properly manage her/his finances, then the relationship(s) that person is in will always be in a state of chaos.  Money, as Ecclesiastes says, is the answer for everything.  If we promised something to someone, like taking them out for dinner, then later in the week, when that date arrives, and we blew our dinero on a pack of beer and baseball cards, well, that person is likely to be mad and then write us off eventually.  So, having said all that, you want someone who can know what and where their money is going, (biblically, it should be going to tithing, 10% of your gross income and tithing also 10% upon your increase--anything that gets brought into your house.).  So, another virtue --obviously if you are saved Christian as you say you are--you want to be yoked together with a saved believer (me? LOL...;) If you arent spiritually compatible with someone, then what is the point?!  Christianity and atheism, for instance, would not mix.  Maybe make a list of the 10 MUST-HAVES you want in a partner, then make a list of the NO-WAYS...somethings you cannot tolerate having in a partner, what has not worked for you in the past.  Make this list as long as possible.  I just did this last night under some advice that a christian author gave me.  Some exapmles of NO-WAYS may be "laziness about work," "sarcasm," "physical abuser" "reviler" and so on.  Examples of MUST-HAVES can be "Children-friendly," "Saved Christian who attends church weekly," and so on.  narrow this list to 10 b/c any more than that can drastically narrow your chances at finding Ms. Right!  Why?  We will be seen as too fussy when we have 39 different must-haves and we OURSELVES cannot meet all of those requirements!  I believe in time--short time--God will send that one for me.  i know He will for you, too--keep the Faith and He will show you His most excellent plan.  A favorite verse of mine in the meantime while you wait:  Exodus 22:22-24, which talks about God's personal protection and favor for never-marrieds and widows.  If you'd like to be friends on here, feel free to drop me a line or two.  if not, then best wishes!  God loves you and so do we! ~~~ :)

I wonder the same thing, 27 now I have never been in a relationship, and that mostly because i don't know how to go about it. what should i expect from my partner, most of the guys i meet wouldn't even wrap their head around the belief of a higher power let alone consider the christian life i am living. they all want one thing, the one thing i would not give away in a heart beat. and being that i came here during my teenage here and it is such a big country it becomes even harder to meet someone who wants to believe in God and follow the rules as they are supposed to be followed. never got a chance to meet someone remotely respectful to me, everybody literally want just one night of my time.  I am getting old, and i never know really what love is. i really don;t want to grow old alone like that, the very thought of it is horrifying to me. I don;t know how to  put myself out there, and tell someone directly this is who i am-----i have no experience in nothing when it comes to a relationship, romance or whatever, i am religious and a christian, i have my values and morales and this is the kind of life i want to live. and i don't like to indulge myself with materials and pleasures people are  looking for, that introduction would make anyman run in the other direction. so far i ve only just implied it when i talk to someone, who the first sentence, they manage to emit out of their mouth is , "let;s get outta here , let me take you home". when i said i don't think so, i am history, i never heard from them again. i am posting about your post cuz i can relate not that i have any answer for you, but i hope soon enough, someone can advice a lil on this, cuz i am stuck, i really don't want to keep living alone, with family, but really extremely difficult, and depressing cuz i don't get any support from them, and i get mentally abused everyday, so i am thinking i need to know where to look, and what to do to meet someone who is willing to be with me for all the right reason, and share the same christian life with me.

just watched the first part and already wish to become a better person a person worth dating. thank you so much! <3

Heather Murphy said:

The New Rules for Love, Sex & Dating

 

A friend of mine recommended I watch this 4-part series aimed at singles of all ages.  I have to say it had a profound effect on me.  The minister addresses what God meant for relationships & marriage - as opposed to what the world teaches.  

Viah and Randall, Get involved in your church. Attend as many services as you can. Join Bible studies. Participate in the extra activities offered. Teach Sunday School (you will learn as much as your class, if not more). Go on mission trips. If your church doesn't have enough of these consider another church, or just go to another church for these activities. (Remember, as long as the church is sound doctrinally, the members are part of God's family and will not mind.) Don't focus on finding a mate, but on Jesus. Be about His work and ministry. Through these activities you will meet others, make new friends and be able to observe their walk without a commitment. One day, if it is God's will, He will bring the right person into your path. If you rush it, you will most likely make the mistake of getting involved with the wrong person. God has a plan for each and everyone of us. However, many of us rush to grab things too soon, instead of waiting on Him. This results in lost treasures He had for us, or even worse, finding ourselves stuck in a situation we never wanted to be in.


Again, the best thing to do, is focus on Jesus by getting involved in His work. Then let Him worry about your life-mate.

Trace,

I really love the advice to "Run with Jesus". It is so easy to make things happen in our own strength. We get impatient because we do not see things happening in our timeline. We have to remember that Jesus has something much better in store for us. When we try to make things happen, we cheat ourselves. God supplies all of our needs, even our life partner.

I have been divorced for 1 yr.  I moved out 6 months before I filed for divorce. I have really tried to focus on my relationship with God.  I've spent  the past 1.5 yrs working on restoring my life. I'm at the point in my life where I have to figure out what I want to do with my life. I need to discover new activities and hobbies. When I was married, I lost my individuality. My life revolved around my husband and family. I know I have to live life instead of just existing. Its definitely like stepping out of my comfort zone.

 

 


 Trace C. said:

First, you should look for a person who shares your beliefs about God and has a genuine personal relationship with Jesus. They must be a Christian or you will just have problems in the future (trust me). If a person does not have this, move on...avoid at all cost...they are not for you. After that, you have to look for signs of good moral character and shared values/goals. Hopefully if they are a Christian, they will have good moral character. You will hopefully be attracted to each other so that will take care of the looks thing, but don't discard someone who God is pointing you towards because they don't look like they just got off the runway. Sometimes nice things come in different sized packages. Money and material things are necessary, but at the bottom of the list. You to live and material things (clothing, cars, etc.) are things in our lives, but they should not be the basis or focus when choosing a person in a relationship. Above all, if you are following the will of God for your life, then He will point you to the person you need to be with. If you are going towards someone who reminds you or tempts you for your old life, then that obviously is not the person for you. I have always told my daughter, "Run with Jesus, and one day you'll look over and see the guy your supposed to be with running on the other side of Him." That may sound dumb, but it has always been a good visual for her to keep her eyes on Jesus and not go running after relationships that God may not want her in. I hope this has helped. Trust in God and He will guide you. :)

so late...thanks so much... i have followed this partially.. fully will be better i concur.

NaDene Johnson said:

Viah and Randall, Get involved in your church. Attend as many services as you can. Join Bible studies. Participate in the extra activities offered. Teach Sunday School (you will learn as much as your class, if not more). Go on mission trips. If your church doesn't have enough of these consider another church, or just go to another church for these activities. (Remember, as long as the church is sound doctrinally, the members are part of God's family and will not mind.) Don't focus on finding a mate, but on Jesus. Be about His work and ministry. Through these activities you will meet others, make new friends and be able to observe their walk without a commitment. One day, if it is God's will, He will bring the right person into your path. If you rush it, you will most likely make the mistake of getting involved with the wrong person. God has a plan for each and everyone of us. However, many of us rush to grab things too soon, instead of waiting on Him. This results in lost treasures He had for us, or even worse, finding ourselves stuck in a situation we never wanted to be in.


Again, the best thing to do, is focus on Jesus by getting involved in His work. Then let Him worry about your life-mate.

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