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Comment by Wally Long on November 22, 2011 at 1:02am

Here is a link to the follow-up story that was done about our family and how God is bringing about healing from a great tragedy.  I hope you are blessed by it. http://www.9news.com/news/local/article/231238/222/Siblings-of-Burl...

Comment by Brandie Seifert on September 5, 2011 at 10:19pm

I want to share with you today a little about my ending and my

beginning …

 

Now, I know some of you are going

to JUDGE me just by looking at my tattoos and some of the things I am going to

share with you but me and God are cool with that...

 

I grew up in a VERY broken home my mother and step-father were

 

alcoholics and drug addicts. I was beating, molested and abused emotionally and

 

mentally in ways people cannot fathom by the time I was 10 years old by people

 

whom lived in my own home people who were suppose to protect me and love me.

 

Growing up religion was not a part of my household. The only time I heard about

 

God was when I would visit my grandparents during the summer time. Grandma would

 

take me to vacation bible school and I will never forget the night I accepted

 

Jesus Christ into my heart. I thank her for those times. However not wanting to

 

upset and shame my grandparents they had NO IDEA what was going on in my life

 

apart from them. By the time I was 13 I was already starting my own drug use and

 

being promiscuous. As a young teenager I grew hateful and angry for the things I

 

was enduring and I dammed GOD if he was real for allowing these terrible things

 

to happen to me. There was no love in my home only abuse, hate, pain, sorrow and

 

entrapment! I learned to be strong, tough, a protector; to my

 

mother and siblings but often I question,” Who’s protecting me?”

 

Around this same age my siblings and I were taking away do to my mother

 

being locked up. We were placed in some foster homes, than in a home of an uncle

 

whom was also a drug user and abusive and I experienced yet another tragic

 

memory of sexual abuse. I will never forget the night I ran away and pleaded

 

with my grandmother to come rescue me. So by the time I was 14/ 15 I was allowed

 

to live with my grandparents. At this point they are trying to understand and

 

figure out where their beautiful smart young grand daughter was? I was damaged

 

goods by this time. Grandma would try to take me to church and I

 

believe I was involved with some church activities but I was so consumed in

 

drugs… those time were very blurry…I was doing it all from cocaine, heroin,

 

weed, alcohol, LSD, pills and so on… By 16 I was raped by my boyfriend and was

 

extremely suicidal. I over dosed between smoking marijuana laced with cocaine,

 

drinking and popping prescription pills my heart actually stopped beating. I

 

remember flying upward clawing at my chest gasping for air in the back of an

 

ambulance as a paramedic held paddles over me. I vaguely remember being in ICU

 

unable to move anything from the neck down. I had to have someone stay in a room

 

with me and was strapped down to a bed once my vitals were ok. My family didn’t

 

know what to do with me. They ended up putting me into a rehab center for

 

awhile. I cannot really recall too many events after that and I would like to

 

say I may have tried walking the unbeaten path for awhile. I

 

continued to use drugs. I was filled with so much hatred towards my mother and

 

step-father. I was one of those people who could maintain a job and my

 

responsibilities of paying bills because I learned to become independent and

 

self sufficient. I didn’t want to live by anyone’s rules but my own.

 

I didn’t believe in GOD or the devil. I believed religion to be a

 

bunch of BS. My grandparents always said go to church and pray but all I felt

 

was judgment and criticism because they couldn’t understand why I hated life,

 

my-self, why I used drugs… they were always their when I needed them for help

 

with money or physical needs but I felt they never could ever understand me or

 

accept me for what I had become they could only see the sweet innocent smart

 

little girl they wanted me to be the girl they thought they knew.

 

Around 19 I lost a loved one do to a drug overdose he was only 22.

 

Alcohol and oxy-cotton took his life and then I questioned if there was a GOD

 

again. I couldn’t handle or deal with his death. His sister and I were best

 

friends at the time. She was always a believer in god but she herself was lost

 

and was a drug user and alcoholic. She got me to try and renew my faith in GOD.

 

I was even baptized. I tried to stop doing drugs. But I was still broken. I

 

didn’t know how to embrace the word of God. I tried going to church on Sundays

 

and I tried praying but eventually I stayed away. I always felt judged. I never

 

once shared my story with anyone in a church. I couldn’t get past all the “lovey

 

dovey stuff” and all I saw was beautiful people on the outside and I felt I

 

never belonged. None of those people could love me. How could they when I

 

couldn’t love myself? I never knew anything of love. Love was being abused and

 

doing drugs and having sex…that was love right??? At 21 I was in a bad car

 

accident do to drinking and driving. I was a passenger. I was the only one to

 

get hurt. I was the only one that had some sense to know that the driver was

 

also intoxicated and was driving 120 miles per hour…I was yelling for him to

 

slow down…at the speed of 80miles an hour we clipped another drunk driver doing

 

45 on 81 I was thrown from the back seat and should had went through the front

 

window but didn’t…I sustained a gaping hole through the bottom of my lip so bad

 

the ER had to have a plastic surgeon operate on me. You ask did this stop my

 

wicked ways? Maybe for a little while….I continued to live my life

 

as I saw fit. My mother and I started our drug addiction together. My mother

 

even taught me to use needles in my arms. I partied hard. I carried a gun. I

 

sold drugs with my mother. I went to the bars with my mother. I thought I had

 

finally had a relationship with her. Until 2005 I became pregnant

 

with my daughter. I stopped using drugs and alcohol. I knew I had a life to take

 

care of. I buckled down; stopped hanging around certain people, places and

 

things. I started working a good paying job. Started doing the things I was

 

supposed to do. After the birth of my daughter I did stay clean. I can honestly

 

admit that I relapsed for a total time period of 4 months since 2005. I tried

 

doing good. I worked hard paid my bills tried to be a good mother. This became

 

routine. I still didn’t believe in god or the devil. I felt I was so strong that

 

only I myself had over come all these hardships. I didn’t need a GOD I could do

 

everything on my own. I didn’t need friends. I prided myself on achieving a good

 

job and making good money. I started going to the bars again and would have sex

 

with strange men. I was searching for something. I was searching for love in all

 

the wrong places. I thought I was doing good for myself and I just needed to

 

find a man and I would be complete. I got to the point where I was disgusted

 

with myself. So I stopped going to the bars. I would work 6 days a week 12 hour

 

shifts. Away from my daughter depressed alone angry. I tried not to bring men

 

around my daughter. I didn’t want her ever experiencing the things I did as a

 

child. I wanted a better life for her. So I just did what I had to do work, pay

 

bills and provide for her. I kept meeting men that were criminals, lyres,

 

cheats.. I was still angry all the time. I hated my job. I hated people. I just

 

wanted to be alone yet every night I would cry from so much hurt and loneliness.

 

I could never figure out what I was doing wrong in my life. I

 

noticed my working all the time and my sadness was affecting my daughter. In

 

December of last year I thought I finally met the ONE. However, this past July I

 

had been with a man who didn’t do drugs, wasn’t a heavy drinker, he didn’t go to

 

church, he worked hard, was raising his 2 children on his own. A lot like me I

 

thought. He had suffered great hardships as well. Really thought we had a

 

connection. I loved him. We spent quality time together with our children. We

 

even talked about marriage. Then I found out that his mother did not approve of

 

me because she was catholic and I had tattoos and didn’t believe in God. She

 

thought I wasn’t good enough to be around her grand children. I didn’t drink. I

 

didn’t do drugs. I loved his children. But he became consumed with other

 

people’s opinions of me. So he started to distant himself from me. Found out he

 

had cheated on me and than three days later I found out I was pregnant. He

 

flipped out. He didn’t want anything to do with me or the baby. He gave me 400

 

dollars to abort the baby. He made me feel like a piece of trash. The trash that

 

I had thought I was because of my past. What was wrong with me what did I do to

 

deserve all these horrible things? I had sat in my bathroom for an hour crying

 

thinking to myself who can help me? What am I doing wrong? I’ve tried living a

 

good life. I had changed my ways. Why was I still hurting? And this thought ran

 

though my mind “you are not putting God first”. I knew my grandparents wouldn’t

 

understand and my mother just recently got out of prison and rehab and was

 

starting a new path in her life. My baby sister and baby brother didn’t believe

 

in GOD and had started their rocky path from all the hurt and pain we went

 

through. My oldest brother just got out of prison and was on the run. I had no

 

friends. Than Kristen Ruffner spoke in my mind. She had been my

 

daycare provider for a couple years and I knew she attended the living room. I

 

sat there clenching my phone just crying and staring at her number and I felt

 

like I couldn’t breathe like there was a boa constrictor around my throat and it

 

didn’t want me to reach out but by the almighty grace of GOD I DID!!! Kristen

 

had always been praying for me and my family. She would try and invite me to

 

church and she would try and say good things and encouraging things to me

 

throughout our short drop off and pick up times. She was there for me with arms

 

wide open and no judgment. We talked throughout the days about my situation and

 

going to church. During the week I had started to have cramping and bleeding and

 

the doctors couldn’t find the fetus. The ER doctors ended up

 

finding the baby in my tube and they had to end the pregnancy or it would have

 

killed me. I ended up having my tube and unborn child removed by surgery on

 

Thursday July 28th and on July 31st I woke up and texted

 

Kris and told her I wanted to go to church. I walked into the living room that

 

day willingly and knowingly that I needed GOD!! Every day since

 

that day I have continued to receive god’s word, god’s love and the love of a

 

group of beautiful women who have not judged me. Throughout my short beginning

 

with God he has been speaking to me to share my story and I have with a few

 

women. The things I have shared with you here today about my

 

past are just a small portion of the battles and demons I over came but I wanted

 

to summarize them in a short story to grab your attention. I want you to walk

 

away today and know that there is hope! There is a GOD if you don’t believe! If

 

you’re a believer please don’t judge others and criticize them! I know it’s hard

 

but as followers of Christ we must build up his army! Love with arms wide open!

 

You never know who you may just save! One little seed was planted in me! The

 

lost need real people like you and me to be there to reach out to them and if

 

they don’t want to be reached one day they WILL reach back with your prayers and

 

hope and your faith in GOD! Lead by examples! It’s not about being a perfect

 

person or perfect Christian! It’s about God’s LOVE for ALL OF

 

US!!! We are all deserving of love! Do not be ashamed! Do not be silent! Do not

 

hide in the darkness anymore! You are NOT ALONE!!! Let your Light Shine!! Renew

 

your passion for GOD and become on FIRE for GOD AGAIN!!!!! The

 

world needs God right now!

Comment by EVELYN SUTTER on July 11, 2011 at 11:22am

Unfortunately I don't, if I get a second I will look on Amazon myself (I just came back from a week off of work so it is busy as you can imagine). I also think there is a book called They Speak With Other Tongues

Comment by Andrea Schuler on July 8, 2011 at 10:02am

Do you remember the author of Tongues of Fire? I looked it up on Amazon and there are several authors who wrote a book by that name.

 

I appreciate your input on the Baptism of the Holy Spirit. It's something that I have been wanting to do more research on and come to acquire as a spiritual gift!  I really have a passion for witnessing and evangelizing and I think if I had the Baptism of the Holy Spirit - I would definitely have more boldness to do so.

 

Blessings to you Evelyn!

Comment by EVELYN SUTTER on July 7, 2011 at 10:49am

Remember how John baptized people to repent and turn from their sins.  Also, you know how the disciples were with Jesus the whole time he was here on earth, yet, Jesus knew they needed the third part of the trinity and told them to wait in the upper room for the Counselor (Holy Spirit ) to come. If Jesus told them they needed it, then how can I say I don't?  Let me be clear, yes, when you are saved you are saved by the Spirit and will go to heaven. If you don't speak in tonuges etc. it does not mean you are not saved.  But the difference for me was that I felt more empowered to love God and now no matter what I know He is there for me. I am teaching the book "The Forgotten God" to my adult ed class on Sunday and it is all about how we don't consider the Holy Spirit a person, we call Him an it.  But from the time the disciples received it, and others, Peter was steadfast in his faith and never wavered again like he had before the crucifixion, Stephen was able to give his incredible speech as he was going to be stoned, and only the power of the Holy Spirit could have changed Saul into Paul.  The thing for me is that it all happened at the same time. I sometimes wonder if it was meant to be that way and over the years we have divided it ourselves. But that is just a human thought, not a thus sayeth the Lord. I think there is an older book out there called Tongues of Fire that you might want to try to read.  I think being baptized in the Holy Spirit gave me what I call staying power. I did not feel, even in my worst moments, that maybe I should turn away.  The other way to find out, is to ask God to baptize you int he Holy Spirit believing He will and then you will know for sure, because it will happen to you.  I agree 100 percent with your last line. Not having the '2nd baptism" does not make anyone less of a Christian, nor does it mean they are not going to heaven. But it is something Jesus felt the disciples needed and it says this is for you and to all those after you (my paraprhase).

IN Christ,

Evelyn

Comment by Andrea Schuler on July 6, 2011 at 3:56pm

Great testimony Evelyn! Thanks for sharing! I love to see how God works in people's lives.

I recently read "The Cross and The Switchblade" by David Wilkerson and learned alot. It made more curious about the baptism of the Holy Spirit. How is that different from the baptism and recieving of the Holy Spirit you get when you are saved?

Anyway, God is so good and so faithful to those who follow Him with their whole heart!

- Andrea

Comment by EVELYN SUTTER on July 6, 2011 at 3:12pm

How I became  a Christian despite myself!!  I grew up in an Episcopal church and remember getting "pins" for perfect attendance every year (does this show my age?) until my family moved to Pa.  We found another Episcopal church but I disliked it a great deal, especially the Sunday School for my age (9th grade). So I asked my dad if I could co-teach the 4th graders with him. He agreed. So I taught the head knowledge I had of God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit that I had at the time.  Then after high school I went to one year of college, that summer I met my soon to be husband and because I was not really walking with the Lord and was a product (somewhat) of the times( the hippie days/philosophy) I did not consider Him in any of my decisions.  My husband at that point was in the military and he got orders to go to the MIdeast (there was a crisis at that point even in the 70's) . Anyhow, he ended up not going there and pulling a new set of orders to Norfolk, Va.  Meanwhile I discovered I was pregnant.  Of course because of my beliefs we had "safe sex" all the year before, but I told him it was safe to do it with out any protection at this particular time.  Well, safe sex is now named Rachael!  Anyhow,we had been engaged, almost broke it off, but were back together.  I found out in September I was pregnant and we got married in December. I moved down to Norfolk in January after he found us a trailer to live in.  My daughter was born that June. Things were ok, but we never went to church, we did not discuss God, except for the fact that my husband said he used to be saved and actually would go door to door witnessing.  Well,  he ended up getting out of the service that summer and we moved to Michigan, his home state. I was warned by everyone in the family that one of his sisters was a "religious nut".  Well, I met her and wouldn't you know it we hit if off from the very beginning.  She was always praising the Lord, and talking about God and the Holy Spirit. I spent a lot of time at her house, especially after my son was born 18 months after my daughter. She helped me out a lot.  We would stay up talking night after night about God and I would ask her so many questions. She was a very smart teacher and I could not believe she believed in speaking in tongues. I could not put speaking in tongues together with intelligence!  I honestly thought that that type of faith was for "dumb Southern women" (to which I apologize now for, but that was my thought at the time.  I used to spend many nights in this one area of her house and I am a reader. I complained to her that she did not have any good books on her bookshelf as they were all only Christian books. Finally out of desperation to read, I picked up a book called Michael, MIchael why do you hate me? The story is of a rabbi's son who not only does not become a rabbi, he becomes a charismatic Christian speaking in tongues.  Then I picked up the book Nine O Clock in the morning by Dennis Bennett- a pastor who was at the forefront of the charismatic movement in the 70's I think. Then I read Pat Boone's book  A New Song.  All of a sudden things were changing in that I was slowly accepting that this might be true.However, I still argued with my sister in law over and over. She had nothing but love and patience with me. One night at their house I heard her and her husband have an argument, so I decided to pray. I gave my life to the Lord then, accepted Jesus and at the same time these words floated in my head, but I thought I was making them up.  WEll, the next day a series of events happened that led to me ending up in my apartment in my bedroom and praying and this time I let the words out. I remember seeing light and feeling for the first time every that now I understood how one could love God. I knew God loved everyone, but having that relationship where i could love him was an incredible feeling. I went out and told my husband that I had accepted the Lord and become Spirit Filled all at the same time. He was not happy, and said," I knew you would catch it" but at that point I did not really care what he thought. I called my sister in law on the phone and started yelling 'It's real, its' real! which is what she had been trying to get through to me for especially the last nine months (interesting that is how long it takes for a baby to develop)  . Anyhow, although she had absolutely every right to she never said, " I told you so".  She just rejoice with me. I felt like everyday was Christmas.  Just before my husband and I's ninth anniversary he came to me to tell me he had been stealing drugs from the hospital he worked at (he was a paramedic). That began two long years. He and two others were involved. It was in the papers, it was on TV. He got fired. I was at this point going to a Presybterian church which gave those of us who were Spirit filled opportunities to have music and Bible studeis during the week which was great.  Anyhow, I went to church with the judge who was going to try the pre-sentencing sessions, I went to church with the main person from the hospital who was going to testify against us. The only positive thing in this was at the time, my husband confessed all,s o we could say to people they did not have to worry about what they said in court to make them more comfortable. Of course he lost his job, I was not working, (this was the first time the car industry in Michigan crashed and almost everyone I knew was looking for work,or laid off, much like today.  We washed cars for friends of ours who would give us money for doing it, because they wanted to help. I wore the same dress to church every Sunday for the next two years and no one ever said anything about that to me, so my church was great.  We went fishing a couple of times (i HATE the outdoors because it tends to have bugs etc.:)  so we had dinner. I was always worried about my kids if any of their school mates said anything but that did not seem to happen. The pretrial went on for two years.  Meanwhile, we went to counseling for my husband's drug habits. I thought all along he was smoking pot and that was the one issue we were fighting about. It turned out that because drug addicts are good liars that he would smoke enough pot to make it smell like that is what he did. But it turned out he was taking everything and anything from the ER. He was shooting up stuff. It is absolutely amazing that he never made a mistake on any patient in the ambulance. ONly God could have done that. Amazingly, God got him a job in the same field only he could only do basic EMT stuff, no giving of drugs that type of thing. But only God could give you a job in the middle of a time when every time we went to court, or maybe every so many sessions, it would be back in the paper that he was still going to court for stealing drugs from a hospital and yet he was hired by another ambulance company.  At the end of two years, we finally had the judge dismiss a jury trial and we decided to let the judge decide the outcome.  Of course he was found guilty and sentenced to 8 months I think it was in our county jail, but he had to only actually serve two, a 5000 dollar fine and 500 hours of communtiy service.He was given work release so he could stay on his job but at the time, when you were on work release, I think we had to pay the jail 25 dollars a week, or something like that. Of course money was very tight. Then I found out he was having an affair, which neither of my kids know about as they were so young at the time. I found out two days before his sentencing.  So we really did not get to talk much about it although I do remember saying: well you have finally done the one thing I can Biblically leave you for as he was always pushing and pushing people to see if they would still love him- he did that with his family and carried it over to me.  Anyhow, he was sentenced, went to jail. I visited him once or twice, but then on Sept 14th 1982 I was going to go out to where he worked and visit him there and he called me and said not to come as they had a transfer run that was leaving at 10 am. So I did not go. Around 4 pm an ambulance came to my door and out came his boss and another paramedic. This was not unusual that they might stop by to say hi so I did not think anything of it. They cam in then and told me that there had been an accident, and that he was killed in it. He was in the back of the ambulance and the driver thought he saw something and swerved and they went over an embankment. My husband and the patient were killed insantly, the driver survived but with injuries.  My kids were now 6 and 8 and this is why I have never told them about the affair, they know the drug issues he had, but they do have some good memories of their father and I don't see any reason to take that away from them.  This probably was the longest most traumatic two years of my life.  I prayed all the time, I asked God not to let him go to jail, but God said no. The day before my husband was killed he called me and said to cash in our life insurance policy and cancel it. Well, all day Tuesday I put it off and that was the day he was killed! I know God was making me not do it.  During this time, God provided bread for my family every week because a friend of mine did accounting for a bakery and the bakery was always giving them free bread so they always gave me some.  The afternoon he was killed, people started coming to my house (small town) and a lot of them had questions and for many of them, including myself this was the first death of someone who was  friend, or relative.  I remember spending a lot of time saying I did not know why God took him, but I thought that maybe God knew what would be ahead for him here on earth might be worse than what we were going through now. I remember my pastor coming to me and saying,"What is going to happen to you next"? which I appreciated so much. He did not quote the Bible or lecture me, he just sympathized and was by my side. I had so many people just come by and be there. I don't remember what they all said or did, but I do know they were there.  Anyhow, we had the memorial service that Saturday (he had to be autopsied by law in Michigan because of being in a car accident). I thought telling my kids Daddy was in jail was hard, but then now I had to tell them Daddy was dead. So we began a period of mourning of course.  Throughout all this, I prayed, questioned, was sad, angry etc. But I did grow closer to God through this.  A few months later, I met a guy through a friend of mine who was married to his brother. Surpising myself i asked about him and found out he had asked about me. Well, to make another long story short, two years later we were married. He is absolutely the best thing ever to happen to me in this life (besides becoming saved of course).  We have been married for 26 years now and yes, we have had financial issues, a lot of health issues, but through it all we have watched God bless us more than we expected in many ways. He became a Christian shortly after I met him_ by the way if you ever want to know- it is on the third date that you tell someone you think you are serious with that you speak in tongues and then hope he does not run out the door! I have a lot of humor, but I did tell him on our third date. It was weird because I knew you were not supposed to date someone who was not a Christian, but through me and through a teacher at our church my husband did become saved.  I don't understand why God did it that way, but all I can say is He did.  Anyhow, I am sharing this because I want people to know that even after you are saved, things are not going to be perfect. BUT I now can comfort others with the comfort God has given me. I can comfort people in job losses and encourage them by what happened in my first marriage at a time when it sure did not look like anyone would hire him, I can comfort people who have found out about affairs, I can comfort people, especially widows with real encouragement, I support Teen Challenge and I have compassion for people whose spouses have drug addictions, And yes it is possible for the wife NOT to know, trust me. I have compassion for girls who get pregnant young (in fact I volunteered for several years at a Christian counseling crisis center for young women who thought they might be pregnant. So I see how God's hand has all been in my life, and even thought things were tough and I still have some issues of my own to work out (through Christian counseling) I am basically sharing this long testimony to encourage others that it is so much easier to go through any of this WITH Jesus than without. I might have divorced my first husband but I believed in what the Bible said, I may not have felt it, but I stayed. Did God give me my 2nd husband to replace my first? No, I do not think that, but I do think he honored my faithulness to his word regarding marriage. Was it easy to tellthe woman (she worked with my husband ) that I forgave her at the door of the memorial service. NO, I did not feel forgievness then, but forgiveness is not feeling, it is an act of the will, I knew I would never see her again (which turned out to be true) so I knew I had to do it then. Was it easy to go through all of this? No, of course, not there were days of despair and crying but God brought me through it all.So to any of you who choose to read this, my heartfelt plea is for you to come to a relationship with the Lord and walk with Jesus in your heart. You will never regret the decision. 

PS This is why I believe so strongly in Christian bookstores existing. If I had not read those books I would not have come to the Lord, because I was not really going to pick up a Bible at that time.

This is an overview of my testimony as an adult, I do want to share two things. ONe as a child when I walked to elementary school (I know, I am dating myself again) I used to talk to God in my head all the time so even then God was pulling me towards him. Then when I was 10 in the Episcopal church we get confirmed and have our first communion. The nun (yes there actually are Episcopal nuns) taught us that when the bishop laid hands on our heads we would become filled with the Spirit. So I just believe that and I remember after he did that, I felt elated all day and I even remember speaking a secret language at night one time, again I now believe it was the Holy Spirit drawing me to Him.

Ok ,this is really the end before I sound like the pastor who says we are wrapping this up, and then speaks another 20 minutes. Thank you for letting me share.

Comment by Andrea Schuler on May 18, 2011 at 8:59am

Every testimony is personal, unique and miraculous!

This is an invitation for you to share your testimony here in the group called "Testimonies". It's always encouraging for others to see what God has done in your life! When you go to the group page, simply "Add a Discussion" so that people can leave comments on your testimony page!