Comment

Comment by Ricardo O. Canales on April 29, 2012 at 8:24am

I am standing for my marriage, I was married for 17 years and 2 years ago she said that she needed to find herself. I have not pushed for renewal except to say that I am here for her and I continue to practice as many of the love languages as I can with her. She has said that I am not her person now and of course this hurts. I wear my ring and let her know my love is unconditional. Just wondering if you have any insight to the thoughts of spouses that chose this road?

Comment by kaye on March 8, 2012 at 3:09pm

DO BORDERLINE PERSONALITY TRAIT PEOPLE PLAY MIND GAMES???

Comment by jocelyn on February 10, 2012 at 8:15pm

Dr. Chapman,

i am married to my husband for 9 years now.i have left him several times in the past but he pursued me and i came back.he never put his hands on me but the verbal abuse is worse.he doesn't believed in God the way i believed God,but let his 9 yrd old son go w/ me in the church and even had him enrolled in sunday's school,of course the responsibility of bringing him to the church is on me.he doesn't go to church.he hasn't slept w/ me for the last 6 months now but he blamed it on me.i asked him one time if he'd slept w/ somebody while married to me,his answer was it's because of me,so i take that as a yes..we don't go places together,we never go anywhere. it's been 3 christmases and 3 birthdays of mine that he didnt give me anything not even a card.he doesnt greet me at all.the only thing that keep me from leaving is his parents.the're very supportive,i can talk to them my problems w/ him.i opened my own bank account because he just took all my money from my account when we still have joint account.now he wants to see my bank account,he said i can see his if i want to.he has his own business and there''s no way i can see all the comings and goings of his money.I am giving him my share of expenses in the house,it's not big but it's 80% of what i earnedand still have to buy the grocery and do all the household chores

and he never help but complained why things are done like this and like that.when i watch tv,he just change the channel w/out asking if i'm watching.He cuss a lot,and it disgusts me.I don't really want a divorce but i don't know what else to do.I'm not getting any younger and i want to be happy in life..he's a controlling freak.Please help me.I need guidance..God Bless.

 

Comment by Beth Miller on February 7, 2012 at 7:47am

How do I renew my trust in my husband? We have been married for 31 years but 2 years ago he left. We had been living together separated for about a year and a half before he left. There were signs he was cheating but he says he was not. I won't go into the details of why he decided to leave. We have had a rocky marriage our whole married life. I came from a kind loving family and he came from a fighting abusive family. He continued the verbal abuse and did not and may still not see it as abuse. His answer to hurt feelings over some verbal, emotional or mental abuse has been just get over it. I don't believe in divorce and never thought I would go to get one but as the years went on and we had 2 children I couldn't take what he did to them. I considered divorce many times but they always said they didn't want me to. I have found out since then that one of my children used to lay in bed at night a pray that I would divorce him and the other said they would have been fine with it. I still do not wish to divorce but when he left he cut off the credit card, had me blocked from one of the bank accounts and left me with an account holding $400 and a few dollars in cash. I have been a stay at home wife and so have not been in the work force in over 25 years, I also have Lupus and couldn't hold down a job anyway. I went to a lawyer and started divorce proceedings because I didn't know what else to do. He called and asked if I was ready for him to come home after several days of not telling me anything. I told him no that we needed to work some things out before he could come home. This made him very angry, he said I had no right to keep him from coming home so because I was afraid of what he might do I left for a while. He then asked if I had contacted a lawyer and I told him yes which also made him angry. He has hurt and manipulated me and threatened me with all kinds of things our whole married life and he wonders now why I don't trust him. We did drop our law suits and have been trying to reconcile for about a year now but I just don't trust him. I want to make our marriage work but I get scared every time I think about letting him come home. How do I learn to trust again? I am begging for help. Any guidance would be greatly appreciated.

Comment by Karla Landa on February 6, 2012 at 10:58pm

How can I be in a relationship when he is not fully with God or like he calls himself christian but he is not full in him or with him.. should I keep going with this?

Comment by Lisa Proch on February 6, 2012 at 9:23pm

Dr. Chapman,

How do you continue in a relationship with an alcholic who keeps denying he doesn't have a problem?

 

 

Comment by Diana Meyer Bobo on February 6, 2012 at 6:49pm

Dr Chapman ~ I am having a crisis... let me start out by saying I married my first husband at the age of 20, we had a beautiful daughter 6mos later and before she was 2 we were divorced.  I re-married several years later a wonderful man who came to know the Lord through our relationship and we were married 21yrs last May.  I say were, because we have been separated since October... we did have fights and arguments ~ who doesn't... and at times we did speak of divorce, but both felt it wasn't what God wanted.  About a year or so ago, I caught my husband "video cheating" if I can say that... it was NOT something I knew about or felt was a "Godly thing" and I told him so!  He acted as if it was a one-time thing and that he was sorry and it wouldn't happen again.  Well, back in September, I caught him again ~ walked in on him in our bedroom with his laptop on his chest.... I was so hurt and crushed that I guess I made life miserable for him, he said he's done this since he was young, can't/won't stop and he asked me to leave because he just wants to be HAPPY!!!! Dr Chapman, I feel like such a failure that I have failed at marriage not once, but twice.... I will always love my husband, but I can't live with someone who lies to you for over 21yrs and then tells you he doesn't know why he married you ~ and he's not sure he EVER loved you!  I have a strong faith in God, but I have been hurt by both these men (and just to say, I never felt love from my earthly Father, who is still alive, but I have always felt that he has a special place in his heart for my two older sister's who have MS and of course the "apple of his eye" my younger brother, his ONLY son!!! and there was never much love for me.....)

I guess my question is why do I keep looking for LOVE in all the wrong places??? Why do I attract men who don't really love me, but I will do ANYTHING for them?!?!?!

thank you for your ministry and for listening!

Diana

Comment by Dorothy Hopson on January 15, 2012 at 6:56pm

God knows where you are !! And what you are going through. You are not alone! Hang in there.

Comment by lori8653 on January 15, 2012 at 6:49pm

My husband of eleven years walked out on our marriage 29 days ago and phoned me to tell me he wanted a divorce.  We weren't fighting.  We hadn't discussed divorce or separation other than 16 months ago when we decided it was NOT an option.  I found a highly recommended Christian counselor and he told me he would go "after the new year."  Now he says he won't go and isn't interested in salvaging our relationship.  Needless to say, I'm devastated.  I don't know where he is, he hasn't contacted me or spoken to me in over four weeks.  I feel God's presence in my life, but I'm so sad and angry at the same time.  My life wasn't turned upside down, it was blown up.  What now?

Comment by Wayne Zapzalka on December 26, 2011 at 3:04pm

Is there such a thing as " a gay christian " and can 2 men have a relationship with each other and GOD also ?

Comment by Stephen keith Weldin on December 5, 2011 at 8:59am

I listened to your broadcast the first time yesterday.  Gary Chapman spoke about being in love and both people feeling that but that did not mean you were with a lifetime partner.  We have a daughter who is engaged and we are concerned about her choice.  If I could get a transcrip of what was said on 12/3 by Gary or in some way reference this to my daughter, it would be awesome.  Stephen Weldin, Austin, Tx

Comment by Alicia Marie Enriquez on November 13, 2011 at 10:21pm

Hello Dr. Chapman,my name is Alicia...I read your book a few years ago and love it and I feel like God lead me here today for a reason....I was married for 15 years to a man that treated me terribly,he abused me in every form possible and cheated on me soooo many times....I am now going through a divorce with this man and amazing enough we seem to get along now that we're not together and we are actually good friends...:) But I am now in a relationship with a man who's ex wife won't leave him alone and I have asked him to please not talk to her because she is always asking him to come and be with her. One day she put money in his bank account so he could get gas to come and sleep with her and he wouldn't do it,so she sent me a nasty message to my facebook telling me that he hasn't been faithful to me because they have had sex with each other a few times and he tells me he hasn't,but now she's trying to claim she's pregnant....he tells me there's no way that she could be pregnant because he hasn't done anything with her...I truly want to believe him,but something won't let me trust him (it also doesn't help that she messages him ALL the time and I do mean ALL the time)....I don't understand why he would keep talking to her when he knows it breaks my heart and he says he's not going anywhere and that he wants to be with me,but I'm soooo afraid of being hurt again by another man and am afraid that one of these days he's just gonna leave me and go back to her.....if you can suggest anything,I would be sooo appriciative....Thank You,Sincerely,Alicia

Comment by g on November 13, 2011 at 8:57pm

Looking foward to great things from following gods lead daily

Comment by Linda Jayne on November 6, 2011 at 10:21am

My husband left home a couple of years ago to serve in the military. We were expecting to come together once I sold our home and took care of some other things, which took longer than we thought. We talk everyday and love each other very much. However, he became very lonely and a woman there pursued him. He fell and had an affair. In a short time, he ended up moving in with her. He says he stays with her mostly because she pays the rent and he sends money home to me every month. He tells me he loves me and still wants us, but there is no movement on his part. He may be getting transferred within a few months and wants me to hold on until then, hoping we can be together again. But right now, I'm not sure it's real. Should I keep holding on or walk away? I love him more than anything... except GOD!

Comment by Chelsea on November 6, 2011 at 10:03am

I’m 18 and I struggle with finding forgiveness towards mom for the past mistakes she has made. Even though she is a great mom, she continues to hurt me when she chooses alcohol and drugs over me, I pray for her constantly and tell her how it hurts me but she doesn’t understand why it does. Every time I decide to forgive her and try to work on our relationship she does something else that she knows I don’t agree with. I’ve tried to not let myself become bitter towards her but I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel that if I keep forgiving her and go back to normal with her then I ‘am condemning what she does, which is not what I want at all. I just want her to stop and for me not to have this bitter angry feeling towards her but I know she won’t change anytime soon so I want to know how to live with it and how I should act towards the things she does. 

Comment by Sheila on October 30, 2011 at 11:33pm

I have been reading Dr. Chapman for years. His writings have been inspiring and helpful and even life changing at times. Thank you Dr Chapman for your love of God, people and faith.

Comment by arielle D perry on October 28, 2011 at 9:31am

My husband and I have been married for 13 years. I was 18 and he was 20 and we had our first child then. During the first 6 years we had a rocky marriage where we would frequently get into major fights and split up. He would leave me at home with our daughter and go out all night drinking with friends on an almost daily basis. Every time we would split I would end up going out to the bar and finding a guy that I thought would love me. I had multiple affairs over the years. I realized that I was looking for something that no man could give me and that God alone would love me the way I needed. 7 years ago I made a commitment to not allow this pattern to continue and I turned to walk the other way. My husband stayed with me even though he is not walking with the Lord. I continue to grow in my relationship with the Lord. He no longer goes out with friends and doesn't hardly ever drink. He is a great father and husband most of the time.  My problem is that even after this very long time when we have an argument he will bring up what I had done and tell me how he only stayed with me for the kids and that I disgust him and will call me pretty horrible names. The next day he will tell me that he didn't mean it but that it still bothers him and makes him mad that I did these things. I know for a fact that God wants me to stay with him I dealt with that for years and wrestled with what to do and my answer was God wants me to stay and be a loving Christian wife. My question is will he ever be able to forgive me or will I live with the consequences of my sin forever in his eyes? Why does it only come out when we fight? Is there anything I can do to help him forgive me or is it up to God to change his heart?

Comment by AlEXANdRiA on October 26, 2011 at 1:44pm

Love is Just So Confusing:'/

Comment by Edward Yalley on October 26, 2011 at 1:23pm

HOW CAN ONE DETERMINE HE IS EMOTIONALLY DEVELOPED?

 

Comment by Sandy Miner on October 25, 2011 at 5:10pm

I like listening to you on the radio.

 

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page