I really want to write to you , there is so much I want to say. I lost my first husband of 9 years and even though it was not as long as your marriage, there are so many aspects of grief that I want to talk to you about. But I don't have the time at the moment as I am getting ready to leave work. Let me leave you with this. YoU are not strange, crazy, or any other diminutive phrase that you might be heaping on yourself. You are going through this in a normal way. IT hurts. That's what people forget, that it can still hurt, for a long, long time. Hang in there, and take it minute by minute. You are right, the worse time is coming home at night. It will get easier, but it will take time, lots of time. I will try to write some more tomorrow.