I have felt a divide between God and I for a while now. I'm still not sure about what fills that gap, but its been too long and I am determined to get through it. I need to get through it. I need to have God as my hope and my friend. With Him at bay, life has been very hard. I know He will meet me with open arms. I just hope I am ready.

Everywhere around is only darkness. Its dark in here....

Inside this tunnel, I can't see all of the things 

that God is doing outside for my future.

It is rather unnerving and slightly disturbing

to not know what He holds for me.

I struggle against the reality

that, He alone knows His plan for me.

Please give me the faith, God,

because I lack it greatly.

To trust in you alone

and stop trying to do it on my…

So, in my first post, I didn't say what it is I have been wanting. I want to get married to the most amazing girl in the world, my girlfriend. The first step, of course, is to get engaged. Before that can happen, I need to find a better job; one that would make it possible for us to live married and support ourselves. I am still a college student, but she has graduated. She works full-time and I work part-time at a pizza place....

It was never my ideal job, or even one I wanted, but…

I've never written anything even near a blog before. I've always been very private and I internalize everything, but the keep the faith program has inspired me to join and write out some of my thoughts and feelings. I'm not sure who you are, but if you are taking time to read this, I feel I should tell you a bit about myself. I am 20, I am a junior in college, life has been tough, but in many ways I'm blessed.

I have struggled with a lot discouragement and some resentment of God in…