Recently I fell in love with a very wonderful man who brought to my life such joy, passion and energy. My friends and I saw a side of me that none of us had ever seen. I was so very happy but then the dark side of my life rose up and began to bring me down. As a teenager I was a victim of sexual abuse which absolutely destroyed my sense of self worth, sense of beauty or goodness or belief that I was loveable or capable of loving a man. So when this gift of God's love came into my life, I began to run and hide, I began to experience all the feelings of humiliation and embarrassment and fear that the abuse had inflicted upon me. For a moment, I was able to enjoy where this kind, gentle, passionate and love filled man took me but then I said no, this is wrong, I can't do this, I can't be a part of this. I went into my shell but God would not let me stay there, this love was so overpowering that my spirit just let go and took off. I could not say no to this love. I began to allow myself to feel all the joy, all the passion, all the happiness that comes with being in love. This was the first time I could see love as being good and beautiful. He touched me in a way that I had never been able to allow anyone to touch me. Unfortunately, this wonderful man is in a committed relationship. When I found out, I was devastated and got angry with God for bringing me to this place and then leaving me empty. But God didn't leave me empty, this was just the opening and the beginning of a new life to being able to love a man and allowing a man to get closer to me. I am forever grateful to God for bringing this wonderful man into my life. I am listening to the song by Jeremy Camp right now that God never lets go of us and this is so true. I don't know where this will all lead but I do know that God has blossomed love in my heart for this man and for the possibility that God has for me and most importantly for God to get even closer to me too.  PRAISE THE LORD!

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Comment by Jane A. Collins on April 4, 2012 at 12:31pm

Thank you April and I will listen to that song. I have never heard the song before so it should be good.

Comment by April S. on April 4, 2012 at 10:40am

I will keep you in my prayers! God has a plan for you and I promise the negative feelings you have now will go away. There is a song that I have recently been addicted to and it's called Safe by Britt Nicole if you haven't heard it you should it's amazing!

Comment by Lynette Chism on March 24, 2012 at 4:41pm

Praise the lord I pray that God will bring a wonderful man into your life whom you will be able to love for the rest of your life....God bless you....Keep the Faith and Keep Trusting in God!!

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