I've never written anything even near a blog before. I've always been very private and I internalize everything, but the keep the faith program has inspired me to join and write out some of my thoughts and feelings. I'm not sure who you are, but if you are taking time to read this, I feel I should tell you a bit about myself. I am 20, I am a junior in college, life has been tough, but in many ways I'm blessed.

I have struggled with a lot discouragement and some resentment of God in the past couple years. All around me, especially as of late, I have found others who are doing exactly what I have wanted for a long time now. I am truly happy for some, they are great friends of mine and deserve it, but others cause me to ask "why them and not me?" This question has caused a distance between God and I. It has been hard to see His purpose and push on knowing that it will work out. I've often been a very optimistic person, but life has become a series of hopes followed by let downs in the past years. It's especially been on my mind the last couple months and increasing with time. I don't know. I guess its just not my time yet...