I really don't know where to start. I have been unemployed off and on since last September. It's been so hard to find a full time job. I have had a couple jobs through temp services but either the pay was too little or not enough hours. It's been over 3 months since I have paid my rent. I have managed to keep my gas and electric on but I am now late with my electric for this month and fear it's going to be shut off on me. It could happen tomorrow. I have no way to pay it. Same with my gas. If it get's shut off I won't be able to cook or have hot water. I have little food. My phone has been shut off so I can't call a food bank. I wouldn't have the gas to get there anyway. I have like $34 to my name and that's it. No family I can turn to. I kind of had a falling out with them after my mother passed away in 2001. So I can't very well show up after all these years asking for help or money. I have no friends to turn to for help. I distanced myself from them some time ago due to them being a bad influence. So I sit here all alone in my apartment every day. I have been selling personal items just to get a little bit of money for food. Even some sentimental things that I had bought for my mother that I got back when she passed away. I've pretty much exhausted all my options. For the last couple of months I have tried to rededicate my life to the Lord. I was saved and baptized back in 1990. Since then I have fell away and then come back, only to fall again. That was before distancing myself from my friends and other bad influences though. Late one night I called a church that a woman had recommended to me. I used to work for AAA and while I was installing a battery for her we got to talking and she gave me some cd's of her pastors sermons. Plus a book. Anyway I called and left a voice mail explaining my situation. I was just wanting someone to talk to. I said I didn't want money but I guess they didn't believe me because I never heard from them. My old church that I used to go to and where I was baptized has a food pantry. Since I can't call I found their web site and sent an e-mail. Again explaining my situation and asking if maybe I could get some food. And again, I never heard from them. That one really disappointed me. I thought that was what the church was for. To help people regardless if they are an active member or not, saved or not. God moves through his children and answers prayers through his children. I'm not going to wake up to a stack of money on my table. A stranger is not going to stop by and offer help. And since I don't go to church or have any family or friends, I feel God is limited in what he can do. You pray to God and he lays it on someone's heart to help. Problem is no one knows I exist. So he can't move through anyone to help me. I'm currently not attending a church but I am going to start again. And my old church is where I was going to start going again but now I don't think so. It's ok though because I know where I want to go. I just haven't yet because I am so self conscience about not having money to tith. So you can see I am in a very big mess. I'm so filled with fear. I know what God's word says about fear but sometimes I just can't help but feel so scared. I have never been in this situation before. For the last couple of months all I have been doing is listening to the local christian radio station, reading my bible, and watching christian television. Trying to get filled with the word. 

There is some good news however. I am supposed to start a new job hopefully sometime this week. I'm just waiting on them to e-mail me a day and time for orientation. I do know that I have the job. It just might be too late. My electric might be shut off any day and I may be getting an eviction notice on top of that. Not to mention I don't want to lose my cat, buddy. He is the best and only friend I have besides the Lord. I'm just tired of going through this nightmare. Of being worried and scared. Have you ever wished for the Lord to call you home? Or that the rapture would take place? That's me. This is no way to live.I just hope I don't loose my utilities or get evicted before I start receiving a couple pay check's, which I don't know when that will be.I don't know if they pay every week or every two weeks. 

I want to mention that I did receive help from a christian ministry for some boots and a gas card for a job I got through a temp service. I thought I was just about out of this mess. I went 3 days and as it turned out, the company called the temp service and told them they didn't want/need me. So now I feel so bad about the help I got because I feel like it was wasted. This was just a couple of weeks ago. At least I have another job to look forward to. I'm so ready to get started. 

I know there are other people who have bigger problems than me or who are in a worse situation than me. After all I do still have my health. And I am not homeless....yet. But for the other people after reading this, your problem may seem miniscule. I wouldn't wish my situation or life on anyone.

So, I could really use prayer. I need help. I sit here and I can feel the anxiety and fear upon me. No matter what happens to me, I will always love you God. I will always praise you and give you all the glory and credit for everything good that happens to me. Because I know that all good things come from you.

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Comment by Geri Ford on April 26, 2011 at 9:43am
Hello Ron, sometimes the LORD our GOD places us in life were we take the time to focus and be still. We get so caught up in this world with all the worldly things and lose track on the most important things in this life like love, patience, forgiveness and just caring as the world decays. Satan constantly works in our lives trying to break us down attempting to distract us from our faithful, loving and merciful GOD. I myself have been in the same situation, but with a couple of children to feed and keep a roof over their heads. This was the turning point in my life were my relationship grew the strongest. See the LORD works in our lives in many different ways not only through people but through events. You see it would be much easier if GOD could just come down and talk to us and tell us what he wants us to do and where he wants us to be, but this is were our increase of faith comes in. Submission is the easiest thing to say but hardest thing to do and we start by being still so GOD can direct us in the path HE wishes us to be for HIS greater good not ours. Sometimes he uses people, events, and all things around us including not have any means or resources to solely step out in faith. You are one of GOD our LORDS children, he loves you and wants the best for you and has wonderful things waiting for you. Be stead fast continue to push forward and stay centered on our LORD and he will see you through it all no matter what we lose along the way its all meaningless compare to the love we have especially during a not so easy time. Get connected with a local church who is welcoming, remember its all in our LORD'S timing. Go with a truly opened heart and you will receive and understand what GOD'S desire is for you. Remember you are special to our LORD and never wait on doing something what you could do today because time passes. You can never control others like family or old friends, but you can pray for them and you will know when the time is right to seek your family. My prayers are with you GOD BLESS
Comment by Lorraine A. Molyneaux on April 26, 2011 at 1:31am

Ron, I've read through all of these comments and have read your story and what amazes me is the fact that no one as offered to give you the financial help you need.  We are the body of Christ and the Lord uses us to help "active help" one another.

1 John 4 16-19 We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us.  So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters.  17 If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion -- how can God's love be in that person?  18 Dear children, let's not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.  19 Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God.


The Lord has put it on my heart to help you in the way that you need it but it's important that you understand that everything I have has been given to me by the Lord and your thanks will go to him alone.  Please email me at lorrainemolyneaux@hotmail.com and I will see to it that you get the help you need.  Your Sister in Christ, Lorraine

Comment by Mildred L. Johnsons on April 25, 2011 at 10:49pm

Ron Its never to much of a mess for God. First of all get into a church, gotta do that!! Find a good church that teaches the Bible and evangelizes. Second , maybe this was first!! Sorry put this one first..get into the word and read it a lot, praying over it asking God to reveal Himself to you. One thing I heard you say is you feel God is limited. Not so, only if you are doubting and not believing. I was without a job and had 2 sons to raise almost 4 years ago. My husband and i were separated due to extreme situations. He didn't help, my family was  not there. But my church family was. I remained stedfast in my faith, and stood on the word of God especially Proverbs 3 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not unto your own understanding, in ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will bring it to pass...He has for me!! It took a good year or so but I am now not wanting.. Really it took me trusting Him at His every word. If you hold doubt in your heart it hinders God, He works by our faith in Him to do what He says. He is faithful to His word, He said it will not return void and will accomplish what it set out to do.. Trust Him step out in faith, "Take a leap of faith, take a leap of faith. You do not need a lot of people, just yourself..believe for yourself. People are okay but if there is no one than believe yourself.. Jesus did!! Not many believed in what He said about His death on the cross and ascension in Heaven.

Be encouraged that you will succeed, He promises we will please read Joshua 1:8 God bless!!  Cast your cares on Him for He cars for you!!

Comment by June Crosby on April 21, 2011 at 11:57am
Good day Ron!!  I so hear your fears and know the feelings that you are having right now. I was without a job for 2 1/2 years, I now have a job but it doesn't pay all my bills all the time (it is only PT). But God is good and He works all things for our good! All we have some days is our trust in Him!! Get to that church as soon as you can - there will be someone who will help you through this time. God gives us people who will stand with us, pray for us and do what they can for us. Because of my church God has given me the most wonderful people and they stand with me through the struggles I get to do in this life! I wouldn't be able to survive all of this without the people God has given me!!!  Stand firm on His word and what He says - it is one of the greatest gifts He gives to us. Just know that God has angels around you and that He will be there for you even when others cannot or won't!! I can't make here without Him and just knowing that He Loves me no matter what is the only thing that helps me make through this life!!!!!  God Bless You and hang in there - never give up because He doesn't!!!!!!!
Comment by Ron Rapp on April 21, 2011 at 10:58am

Thank you Joan for the uplifting comment. I am doing my best to believe and trust that God will see me through this. I know what you and everyone says is true. It would be a little easier if I had people close by to get together to fellowship with. Hopefully that will happen once I get into a church. Thank you again for taking the time to show you care and for praying for me. 

And Cheryl thank you for sharing your story. I do get fearful at times due to this situation but it will get better. Now that I know I have a job, it has alleviated some of the stress. Plus I pick up my bible and start reading and that puts me at rest and gives me peace. Just a couple more weeks of this until I start getting paid and things will really start to get better.

May God bless you both richly.

Comment by Joan Fiona on April 21, 2011 at 9:51am
all my prayers to you  Ron....you stay strong... God is still and will always be on your side... One step at a time you will see his miracles work on you... just believe he is with you all this while... I will continue to pray for you. Take great care of yourself. God Loves You...
Comment by Cheryl Costen on April 20, 2011 at 11:04am
My prayers are with you Ron. You are off to a great start by affirming your love for God and acknowledging that good things come from Him.  I pray that you will find a church where the people are Christ-like and really want to help.  I'll also pray that you will seek medical help and/or counselling for your fear and anxiety.  At one time I was debating whether to return to a medication I'd stopped taken because natural methods weren't working very well, I actually felt God telling me that the medication was His solution for me. And guess what - my life has turned around. I feel so close to God all the time. So that may be part of your solution.  I hope my little story helps.  You have many people - and the God of the Universe - on your side!
Comment by Ron Rapp on April 20, 2011 at 10:57am
I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for all your uplifting comments, encouragement, and prayer. It has meant so much to me to know that there are people who care. You have given me much comfort and I thank our FATHER for all of you. And although our FATHER gives us the strength to persevere, you all have certainly added to that strength. I know the sun will shine again for me and I ask the Lord to bless you all and give you the desires of your heart. You will continually be in my prayers.
Comment by Charles Rhoads on April 20, 2011 at 10:22am
i know sometimes we can start to think that GOD is limited to what we can see in the natural but GOD is super natural. GOD has unlimited power and resourses to rescue you. GOD is not being made aware of your needs when we tell him in prayer. GOD knows your needs before you do. GOD tells us to not be scared becasue he knows we will be. GOD allows the storms that cause the fear. the fear is meant to cause you to run to GOD. just as GOD knew it would. but we have a tendency to run off our list of needs in prayer. we miss what GOD has to say. sitting with GOD saying nothing but just hanging out with him in his peace allowing his perfect love to flow over us will cast away all fear. 5 min. of this means more to GOD then all your words. he just wants you to be still and know that i am GOD. you will understand what GOD is doing by the time he is done with you.i kinda already know because i to have wondered off to a few times and GOD knows exactly how to keep that from happening again. your in the fire! but your not alone.GOD is in the fire with you. we ask GOD just to provide what we need which he can easily do but he wants to prepare us to receive abundence . if we are not confidend that he can provide our basic needs, why would he give you abundence. so he has to remove all doubt. just hold on and trust that GOD never lets go if when we don't think we can...my prayers are with you! in Christ..
Comment by Flor Lopez on April 20, 2011 at 12:02am

I'm so sorry to hear that.  I know it's not easy to go through something like this.  I pray that God will provide you with what you need and that you will get that job.  I also went through a financial situation.  it lasted for a couple of months, but God provided what I needed.  He will do that for you, too! Don't give up!  Your provision is coming.


Take care and God bless you


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