When A Blessing can Turn to Guilt....

Have you ever received a blessing…. a gift and felt guilty about it…… Maybe in the beginning been so floored by God’s amazing blessing that in your joy and amazement  at what had been given to you or at the doors that had been opened up.... you begin to share what the Lord had done for you only to be met with jealousy and a less than joyful response.  And because of the response you begin to feel guilty that you have been given such a gift and start focusing on all the reasons why you may not have deserved such blessing…..  Somewhat similar to survivor’s guilt.

Two years ago this month I had received such a blessing….  When I was first presented with the offer of the gift it was difficult for me to receive the gift graciously…. In fact my first response was…. “No absolutely not…. I cannot accept this….”  For it was so much more comfortable for me to give a gift than to receive one…  The response to my refusal was this, “This is supposed to be a blessing to you… a gift.... why are you rejecting what is given in love?”  At this point I cried because I was overwhelmed by such love..

After accepting the gift I was filled with such amazement of God’s goodness to me…. I began to share my good fortune with whoever would hear it…  To my dismay people closest to me responded with coldness and distance…. Because of this I stopped sharing God’s blessing and without realizing it I began letting guilt grow inside… it weighed heavy on my heart….  The guilt grew like a wild vine to a point where I could not see the blessing any longer…. And just recently I felt the Lord press upon me in this way….  “This is meant to be a blessing in your life…. why are you making it into something less than it is? Why are you letting guilt bury it? Rejoice and be glad….”

I wanted to share this so that if the Lord has blessed you in some way…. Rejoice in it….. And if you have a Christian brother or sister that has been blessed, rejoice with them…. For the Lord will surely bless you for this….

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