The Loss of My Youngest Son and My Oldest sentenced to Life in Prison No Parole for 25 years

On July 26, 2009 my youngest of 2 sons Phillip 20 took his Life by driving 4 hours from Calgary Alberta to Golden, B.C. and jumped off the bridge 300 ft. The funeral was held on Aug. 4 2009 and close to 800 attended with approx 350 young people there.  800 plus heard the Gospel and how much Jesus Loves them.  My son left a 4 page note saying he could not find Peace on this earth so he was trying Heaven and he drew a happy face. I am divorced from his Mom 12 years earlier and Philly had lots of friends and strong family support but he was suffering frome depression that None of us SAW and everyone was SHOCKED.  The second part of this story is my oldest boy Nathan 25 4 weeks ago was found guilty of 3 counts of first degree murder in the Calgary Gang war along with another man.  There are 2 more men going to trial next year on this same case.  Nathan got caught up in this lifestyle since he was approx 12 and had so many opportunities to turn away with all the support he had. He has been sentenced to Life in Prison with no chance of Parole for 25 years.  There have been appeals filed already and we are expecting a New trial in 2 to 3 years as there was so much conflicting evidence and other items that lead to appeals.  In any case I and Nathan's family will be visiting him in a pen until he is either found NOT Guilty in a New trial or he reaches 25 years in Prison.  Nathan has I believe according to Pastors and his family finally surrendered his Life to God and his at Peace with whatever happens.  We will be seeing him very soon in the Pen.  Please pray for My son Nathan that Jesus would sustain him and comfort him and keep him strong as he seeks to now walk with His Lord that he walked away from as a young boy.  This is going to be another Hard Christmas as I spend it alone without my 2 sons and with no family out west and just some friends.   May God keep me leaning on Him until that day that I see my boy Philly in Heaven.

 

Len

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Replies to This Discussion

Dear Len,

I am shocked that there have been no replies to you, and saddened for you. This is the first time I have seen your post, please forgive all of us for not reaching out to you.

The Christian walk has so many times been made out to be this joyous, never have a problem thing. That simply isn't the case, and you must have felt so alone. I want you to know I understand your pain, to some extent. I am saddened beyond words at what has transpired in your life. The pain you must feel, I wish there was a way to take that away, but there isn't. There is a way for it to be eased, and that is by prayer and leaning into Jesus.

There are no simple answers here, but I want you to know I care and you will be in my heart. God does love us, it is our choices, sadly, that divide us from Him. Depression is a real illness and there are no words to tell you how sad I am that you lost your son to that horrible illness.

Your other son, what a blow for all of you. May God keep you all strong as days go by, and appeals are filed. I made a bad mistake once in my life, and I ended up where your son is. Pray for him, as I will pray for you too. Please know that you are all loved by the One who created you, and walks with you.

Dear Kris,

Thank you so much for taking the time to drop me a note to encourage me.  You are first one to write to me in the 3 months since I posted this so I was wondering what kind of site this really was??? I was VERY confused  but so Grateful to you that you would be led of the Lord to write to me.

It has been a year and half now since losing Philly and my Heart is Broken but my Faith in Christ is even stronger today and my Hope of Heaven is stronger than ever before.  God has allowed me to share my faith with so many people as a result of these 2 tragedies.  Mental Illness and depression is such a SERIOUS disease.  We never even thought Phillip was close in any way to ending his Life.

Nathan is in the Edmonton Penitentiary in segregation getting out 30 mins per day every second day for showers and phone calls.  He has put in for a transfer to another Pen 12 hours away where he would be out 12 hours a day and would have it so much better.  His Mom and other family members and as well as myself have been up to visit him for 2 to 3 hour visits and we will be approved in the next 8 weeks for Private family weekend visits.  The Pen is 3 hours away and I will be seeing my boy for the 5th time in 4 months next week.

He is reading his Bible every day and is now in Luke.

Guilty or not of the crimes the jury found him guilty of.......Nathan will need to make his Peace with God which I believe he has done.  Still his lawyers are following thru on the Major grounds for appeal which have National significance and I fully believe he will be granted a New trial.  There are 2 more guys going to Trial this month and then in April on this same case.

My Heart is HEAVY very Heavy but I will press on with My Lord.

If you feel led to drop a note to my son here is his address

Nathan Zuccherato Edmonton Institution Box 2290 Edmonton Alberta T5J 3H7

You can Google his name and the whole case will come up on the NET

God Bless You Kris  Thank YOUUUU!!!!!!!!


Kris said:

Dear Len,

I am shocked that there have been no replies to you, and saddened for you. This is the first time I have seen your post, please forgive all of us for not reaching out to you.

The Christian walk has so many times been made out to be this joyous, never have a problem thing. That simply isn't the case, and you must have felt so alone. I want you to know I understand your pain, to some extent. I am saddened beyond words at what has transpired in your life. The pain you must feel, I wish there was a way to take that away, but there isn't. There is a way for it to be eased, and that is by prayer and leaning into Jesus.

There are no simple answers here, but I want you to know I care and you will be in my heart. God does love us, it is our choices, sadly, that divide us from Him. Depression is a real illness and there are no words to tell you how sad I am that you lost your son to that horrible illness.

Your other son, what a blow for all of you. May God keep you all strong as days go by, and appeals are filed. I made a bad mistake once in my life, and I ended up where your son is. Pray for him, as I will pray for you too. Please know that you are all loved by the One who created you, and walks with you.

Dear Len,

I am deeply sorry about the loss of your youngest son. I hope that you are feeling better today. I strongly believe in Nathans innocence, and feel he will be found not guilty in his new trial. I have been following his case for the past 14 months and could not imagine what an emotional roller coaster this must be for you. I myself have spent time in correctional institutions, on a 'FOB' unit coincidentally. I pray that Nathan gets released soon, and lives a peaceful life. I remember turning 21 and not being able to see my family because I was locked up. My dad was also only able to visit once per month, and I remember how much I missed him. But I knew in my heart he loved me and had his support, as Nathan knows the same about you.

God bless you!

Victor

Hi Victor,

Thanks so much for taking the time to write me a note.  You obviously listen to Shine FM to find out about Keep The Faith.

I thought I would have had many more writing to me but there have only been a few.  Thank God for you and a couple of others caring enough to write.

It has been a rough few years now.  Almost 2 years since Philly leaving this earth for Heaven and now 3 years since Nathan was arrested.  I have days that are not so good but I have to Press on and Will Press on with My Saviour Jesus

Nathan is doing OK in Edmonton Pen.  He had his first PFV 2 weekends ago with his Mom and and Grandparents and I will have mine in Aug.  Still he gets 3 hour open visits every month from us and has had a few visits from friends.

He has gone to Chapel and about 11 guys from his unit go.

I hope you attend a good church.  I went to First Alliance this Saturday evening with a friend of Nathan's.

We are all hoping that a New trial decided upon by the Alberta Court of Appeals will lead to a NOT Guilty verdict and give Nathan chance for a New Life.  Praying God's Mercy will extend to him whether he did it or Not.  

God Bless You Brother and I hope things are going well in your Life.  I will read your letter to him when he phones.

Len

Not a problem sir. I stumbled upon this site after clicking on EVERY 'bolsa' link. I started reading this and you reminded me very much of my dad, and thought you could use some words of support.

It takes a tremendous amount of strength and inner resource to soldier through this like you do. I lost my mom when I was 13 and know how it feels to lose someone close. And just to let you know this is not my real name because you never know who is going to read this.

I haven't been to church in a very long time. I have been meaning to go back, but am not sure how to. I can't seem to find a good one to go to. Any suggestions?

I will continue praying for you and Nathan. Thank you for writing back to me. God bless. And please tell Nathan that there are others praying for him, who believe he is a good person, no matter what is in the media. Also, for what its worth, I would be willing to bet a thousand dollars that he will be found not guilty in his new case. Hundred percent positive.

Victor.

Hey there my friend,

Thanks for writing back.  I figured this was not your name.  Does my son know you??

As for churches well there are lots of really good ones.  If you are mobile then First Alliance.... 2 blocks from the Deerfoot Casino is really good.  I am kinda hooked on that one right now.  I usually go on Saturday nites at 6:30  

Here is the website   https://www.faccalgary.com/FAC5.html#/HOME

It is a BIG church and there are EX cons there and lots of supports there   Good preaching and good music, coffee shop inside  just a COOL place.

Also Centre Street Church is really BIGGG and a great church also

I will let Nathan know of your letter and support and prayers

God Bless You,

Len

you don't know me, but ive been so interested in Nathan's trail. I've never met Nathan but for some reason ive been so drawn into his trail and the outcome. ive probably wanted to write you since he got sentence. I pray for him and now with new charges against him, I cant image. im so sorry for your loss with both your sons.....stay strong 

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